Writers often describe a "chemistry" between musicians and their art. We can best understand this chemistry by examining the properties of recently discovered Elements of Music (EMs). With atomic numbers somewhere between the heavy metals and the inert gasses, these elements, their isotopes and compounds can help us with our appreciation and comprehension of musicians.
Voxygen
-------
Very lightweight element, often mistaken for simple hot air. When observed in combination with other EM's, this atom has the remarkable ability to reorient itself at the center of focus. Although compounds of Voxygen often bear its name, the element has little function. Voxygen often mysteriously disappears when nearby atoms are carrying a charge.
Ampon
-----
Found in abundance in Central Texas. Only two isotopes are known: Ampon-10 and Ampon-11. All Ampon compounds are unstable and Ampon atoms may move rapidly from molecule to molecule, displacing other Ampon atoms in the process. Ampon constantly reconfigures its electrical structure.
Subwooferanium or Eadg
----------------------
Subwooferanium atoms are constantly short a few electrons and the element is rarely encountered except in a pair-bond with another element, Girlfriendium. Although the bond with Girlfriendium is weak, detached Subwooferanium atoms quickly rebond with another Girlfriendium atom. Subwooferanium is highly soluble in alcohol.
Beatium
-------
Beatium atoms constantly vibrate, often at inconsistent speeds. Beatium atoms will also pair-bond with Girlfriendium atoms, often displacing a Subwooferanium atom in the process. This reaction results in the decay of many Beatium containing compounds.
Roadium (Rx)
-------
Often called by its common name, Gofer, Roadium has an affinity for certain complex molecules. Roadium exchanges the complex molecules for free electrons from Ampon, Subwooferanium, Beatium or Voxygen atoms. EM atoms react quickly and unpredictably with these complex molecules.
Gallium
-------
Commonly known as Paedashol (paid-ASS-hole), Gallium intercepts and repels certain other atoms that might react with EM's. Gallium atoms form complex, highly structured bonds with EM's and often absorb as many as 25% of the EM's free electrons (NOTE: a quantity roughly equivalent
to that in a pound of flesh.) The EM's bond with the Gallium atom is strong and, if broken, EM's are often stripped of all their free electrons. Gallium atoms cannot bond or even coexist with one another -- contact will result in annihilation.
Barrumium
----------
Barrumium (bah-ROOM-ee-yum) is easily identified by its characteristic odor. Barrumium does not itself react, but is a catalyst for the reactions of EM's.
Labelonium
----------
There are only a few major isotopes of Labelonium (such as Sonium, Columbium, etc.), but hundreds of minor isotopes, most of which, lacking sufficient electrons, are unstable and decay rapidly. When Labelonium reacts with compounds composed of EM's (particularly in the presence of a Gallium atom), it often bonds most tightly with the molecule's Voxygen atom, releasing the remaining atoms of the molecule as free radicals.
Fannium
-------
Found in proximity to certain compounds of EM's. Fannium may transfer free electrons to EM's, but these electrons are often immediately absorbed by Roadium or Gallium atoms.
Jitterbuggium (compound)
------------------------
A compound formed from two atoms of Fannium. Often found in the presence of musical elements, these molecules seem to vibrate in sympathy with the other atoms of musical elements -- Beatium, in particular. Jitterbuggium molecules often transfer a few spare electrons to Musical Elements.
Onenightrogen (isotope of Fannium)
-------------
Often abbreviated "OOO" (pronounced "Ohhhh-Ohhhh-Ohhhh"), this isotope is often found near EM compounds after a reaction with Barrumium and other Fannium atoms. Forms a short-lived bond with the individual atoms of an EM compound, particularly Ampon or Voxygen. However, this bond dissolves rapidly in the presence of daylight.
Ceedeesium (compound)
---------------------
Ceedeesium is a compound formed when EM compounds interact with Labelonium, often catalyzed by a Gallium atom with massive transfer of free electrons. It is commonly believed that if Ceedeesium is produced in sufficient quantity and exposed to atoms of Fannium, the alchemical result will be Gold or Platinum. This result has not been verified in experiments.